census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
