At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
