I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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