I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
