it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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