"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm passing your future prison.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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