Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What a dumb baby whore.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize