I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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