Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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