Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize