Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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