I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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