I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He did a backflip because drugs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
