He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
