well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
