Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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