Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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