i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
