yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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