Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
