Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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