Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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