you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
