Quick, to the slutcave!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
