Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
