I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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