I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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