What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
