I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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