My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
