He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
