exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
