just tell him i said nine months
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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