If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize