well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just found puke in my bra..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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