i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
