No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
