So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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