Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I want her autograph on my taint
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
