Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just threw up on my dentist
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
