After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
