I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
