Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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