We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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