Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
