The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
