also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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