I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize