Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
