You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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