hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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