Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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