Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My vagina is officially offended.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
