It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
wow bdsm is so cute
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
