Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
