...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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