do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
