Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize