I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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